Tough Parenting

There it was, that moment I had been dreading for four years. You know, the one where your kid is opening her Christmas presents and you all of a sudden realize it's one of those items on the household "unapproved toy list." My heart sank as I watched her face brighten and then look at her Daddy and Mommy with those pleading, "are you gonna let me keep it" eyes. If I'd have been solo parenting at the time, I might have given in, but thankfully the stronger of the two in this parental force promptly stepped in. "Oh Sweetie, we'll have to take that back to the store and let you pick a different toy," Chris told her gently. Her quick moment of hope was over as the package was carefully placed out of reach and she was given another gift to open. She knew where we stood on the issue. She had seen these toys in the stores before and had asked many times to have one and had been given the explanation as to why Mom and Dad deemed these to be inappropriate household play items. I was very proud of her for not whining and putting up a fight. Instead she spent the rest of the evening enjoying the other gifts she had received. And the next day, she was delighted to get to browse the toy store and pick whatever toy she liked (within her cost limit, of course) to replace the unapproved one.
Now that the incident is over, I'm glad we handled it the way we did even though I second guessed the decision a few times. I'm all for tough parenting. If my kids refuse to touch their oatmeal for breakfast, I have no problem saying, "That's fine, but you'll have to have it for lunch, and there will be no snacking in between." Or if they refuse to clean up their room, I have no problem taking away their computer game time until everything is put away. But when I have to take something special away from them when they haven't offended, when their attitudes have been good, and when they haven't done anything to deserve the disappointment, that's really tough--the kind of tough that hurts. I that this will be a valuable lesson for her. I hope it will be an experience that will teach her to hold to her convictions and help her realize that what is fun and attractive isn't always best. Maybe some day she'll be faced with a more serious decision--an attraction that has fallen unexpectedly into her lap, one that might seem pleasing to accept but that she knows should be avoided. Maybe she'll think back on Christmas of 09 and remember that what is pleasant now is not always best. Maybe . . . I hope and pray . . .